the eye of the norm

Tight trousers, great hair, and a metabolism able to cope with constant alcoholic and narcotic nutrition.
All the things I’ve started to long for, craving them like Pete Doherty craves star fuckers and crack stained titfers.No longer am I secure in the thirties life, the duvet like cosiness of the quiet night in with a loved one good food and The Wire. All I want is my youth back....
When I was young I had cheekbones that could shave a nicely matured pecorino, legs like Twiglits
and a constitution like a Camden tramp, but for some reason as you dawdle down the alleyway of your late twenties you seem to loose all ability to do anything to excess.Drinking becomes a dangerous pastime fraught with all manner of pitfalls, the weekday handful of pints that only a couple of years ago would have been a mere aperitif for a night of wanton debauchery now can leave you nursing a headache that feels like someone crept into your bedroom opened your eyelids poured bleach in your eyes then asked several hob nail booted champion shin kickers to stove your swede in.All this pain for just a few bevys,god forbid you should go out on a proper lary one then it really does get messy, myself and a old college mate got a free pass recently when both our better halves were out of town, so out we went, only til two in the morning but we both paid for it for days, and don’t even think about drugs...in my youth I shovelled shit up my hooter,smoked anything flammable and expanded my mind to point of zappa esque proportions, but now seeing my peers crouched over a cistern hoovering up an exotic cocktail of cleaning products glucose and low grade cocaine fills me with melancholy.
I guess that’s one of the upsides of my current lifestyle at least I’m not trying to cling to my youth I’ve let it go, there’s something about the home snorters and over groomed that feels desperate.
So maybe that’s my answer I can’t regain my youth because I’d end up clutching at it, drooling after it,
Always inches from my grasp always a night bus and vomit away, maybe I’m better off in my nostalgic haze, maybe it wasn’t as great as I remember.....
Who am I kidding it was brilliant and I want my hair back!